But there are three two-letter sub root combinations as well. As long as there are words that sound similar to the words "deez" or "nuts", many more deez nuts puns will continue to come out. A tire, I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon, FUN FACT: cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. and I burst into tears. Fur score and seven years ago; Did you need me to . I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Becoming a vegetarian is a big missed steak. Want to hear something terrible? Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, 197 Pawsome Dog Puns That Might Make You Giggle, 30 Very Appropriate Jokes, As Shared On This "Clean Jokes" Online Group, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. Artie's life wasn't much better either, he never had the smarts for that great Job. 11 Funny Jokes About Numbers. A pun, also known as paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. I started reading a book about anti-gravity. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. 14 letter words containing ten. Employee They Disrespected, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), People Are Roasting Airbnb For Getting Completely Out Of Hand, Here Are 30 Of The Most Savage Tweets, Employee Laughs In Boss' Face For Saying It's "Unethical" To Make Plans After Work, Takes The Case To The Director, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, This Artist Crochets And Designs Cute And Funky Cat Hats Inspired By Historic Figures, Music Legends, Movie Characters, And Other Things (38 Pics), Each Of My Mandalas Is Designed For A Particular Baby, And Here Are My Latest 38 Photographs From The Series: The Kids Of The Sun (38 New Pics), Hey Pandas, Tell Us About Your Worst Birthday Ever, This Artist Specializes In Creating Tiny Animal Portraits, And Here's Some Of His Work (18 Pics), 22 Powerful Works of Art As A Response To The Disastrous Earthquake In Turkey, As A Digital Artist, I Can Create An Alternative Reality Representing The World Of Dreams And This Is How It Looks (28 Pics), AITA? I opened the box and looked in, there was an envelope in side, when I opened it, a folded piece of paper fell out. You knowcause he's blind.". For those that don't get it, it's Avogadro's constant, whose value is: 6.02214110^23. on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes, Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes, An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes, Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too. Hello, gourd-geous. National Novel Writing Puns Tweet National Novel Writing Month: Flavor of the Puns Tweet Flavor of the month: There's an R in the Puns Tweet There's an R in the month: Puns in a blue moon Tweet Once in a blue moon: Puns more unto the breach, dear friends, Puns more Tweet Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more: Puns to the crunch Tweet 2. A: A pouch potato, Q: What did the volcano say to his wife? 48. What do cats eat for breakfast? So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think! -, "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted." Bob. She rated my comment a 6 out of 10 on the Dad joke scale. My weekend is fully booked. She's so lazy she's practically cat -atonic. My dogs dont even own bikes, I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. "Look it up." Could a librarian be called a bookkeeper? Theyd stop at nothing to avoid them. 10 of Shakespeare's Best Dirty Jokes | Mental Floss Ok": Employee Leaves Work During An Emergency Because Manager Wouldn't Approve His Overtime, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Might Change Your Perspective On The 20th Century (New Pics), Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, I Felt So Shaken Up: Woman Leaves Family Trip After Eavesdropping On Husbands Conversation With Mother-In-Law, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, Im Not Coddling Her Anymore: After Years Of Walking On Eggshells Around Her Childless Sister, This Mother Stands Up For Her Son, Couple's Plan To Outwit Another Passenger Before Takeoff Backfires As The Stranger Ends Up With A Whole Free Row In Return, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions, Old Photos In Real Life: 35 Pics That Show How Much Time Affects Everything (New Pics). 150 Funny Adult Jokes - Hilarious Humor for Adults in 2023 - MemesBams Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10. 7/11 - Free Slurpee Day at 7 Eleven stores semicen ten nial. Now multiply it by 2, add 3, and subtract 7. How could he do this to his best friend? Trying to get online at my mother-in-laws, I scrolled through various Internet access names. 46. These puns are paw -ful. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. If you like these theatre jokes . I can tell you like meyou keep checking me out. The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. My dad told this joke to me for the first time when I was like 10. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. I understand the joke, but cant see the pun. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Tiny," says the lizard. Everything you need over 50% OFF. Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. But it was just a Fanta sea. Here are the top 10: 1. Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Then it hit me, I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work. A: Bellhop, Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? It was a big deal when the music teacher asked the students to read band books. Go sit on that. A: You're one in a melon. A: Sofishticated, Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? He pretty much acknowledged these were cringey jokes and he regrets them. 9 was his best friend. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite', Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. CHIRON Thou hast undone our mother.AARON Villain, I have done thy mother. Enjoy! What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos. How do you throw a space party? Privacy Policy. Jokes for kids help with reading skills. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" 110+ Prime Math Jokes for Parents, Teachers, And Kids - Fatherly I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games. Even 10 wasnt shocked. He leaves podium as she says gratefully, "thank you. I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. Posted this on r/Talesfromretail and it was suggested I post here. 95+ Amazingly Funny Bad Puns To Share With Your Kids - Fatherly She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. Q: What do you call and alligator in a vest? An, I've been to the dentist many times, so I know the, What did one plant say to another? Every time I see food, I eat it. discoun ten ance. Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population? Stag-azines! Why was the encyclopedia removed from the library? Weird Al used this in his movie "UHF" and the janitorial staff was oriental. Will Smith Makes First Awards Ceremony Appearance Since That Infamous Examples of puns in quotes from famous people include: Looking for more quotes from literature? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback. No, it's bear tracks. Baseball is America's favorite pastime, and for a good reason. figure of speech - How can I identify puns in the Hebrew Bible Now, as far as i can tell, my Dad has never sent a text msg in his life. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! Somebody stole all my lamps I couldnt be more de-lighted! Why should you never talk to Pi? Read up on our best puns ever including our word puns and youll be punstoppable. Riveting!" Be the wittiest tweeter, texter, and writer wherever you go! He was chasing his tale. What do you call a computer that grows on a Christmas tree? I asked him who taught him to spell. They traveled around Europe that one summer in college. 20. Egg-Squisite Egg Preparation & Presentation. 27. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other. Encountered a little dad joke between my uncle and dad today Heard this in the hospital waiting room today. Because there is no point. One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Three times 7 went to 21's compound. My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldnt remember his blood type His last words to us were, Be positive!. They can be homographic, homophonic or both. Did you hear John Green got lost in Canada? 40. You can also find amazing math puns you're looking for with 45 math puns that are better than pi itself. One day a family who I hadn't seen before came in and while the mum and kids wandered off to start shopping. This number represents the number of atoms in one gram of Carbon-12. Catterbrains Check his vi- tail signs Longitude and cat -itude. The dad came over to the side of my till while I was serving customers, announced his account number and then ran off to join his family without saying anything else. Me: Correct! , Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. My cat is totally litter-ate. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes, I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" Check out these examples of puns in literature for more fun puns from your favorite authors. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. I went to the bank, trembling with anticipation, got access to the box, took it into the private viewing room. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? Do you prefer whisker-y or boubon? Batting A Thousand: The Funniest 150+ Baseball Puns You'll Ever Catch. Daughter: "Did you just call me a bug." Man asks widow if he can say a word at the funeral. 10 "I Link, Therefore I Am." This isn't just the rallying cry of many a Link fan, playing on the words "Link" and "think." And it's not just a funny saying either. All rights reserved. Chemistry Jokes, Puns, and Riddles - ThoughtCo Particle Charge Joke. A poultry-geist, Whaddya call a vampire duck? 8. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. How could it be that 7 ate 9? You look paw-fully furmiliar! It had too many sleepless knights. 6. Lou Costello: On account I dont know how I owe it to ya. Because I asked. 2 groups of people you cant trust are lawyers, judges and politicians. I don't know Y. One neighbors Wi-Fi really stood out: You Kids Get Off My LAN!. Paul and Artie went to the same High School together. ", Not that funny when retold, but it was hilarious then, First off my dad is legally blind. Unless, of course, you play bass." by u/I_Fart_Liquids ", 1/23 - January 23rd reads like 123 Did you hear about the accountant? If I had to rate today, I would give it a 10/10. So my dad, my uncle, my wife and I were all sitting in a waiting room and my wife told my dad that she would text him her new phone number. Dad: The oven's only big enough for a turkey! Answer: Ration. My uncle looks up from his phone, after being silent for the past 10 mins, and says "make sure you text it in Braille. Puns are also known as paronomasia, a rhetorical device that uses the dual meaning of a word to achieve an effect. Me (quickly looking at my wife): "Who is Mia Bugg, and why do ya have her phone number?". Fine guy, wont loan a pal $50. I had number 10, and after waiting about 5-10 minutes and not being called, I went to the desk and she helped me. I told her she forgot the 9. Her: Im not sure? My grandparents on my dad's side would always have my brother and I over for Christmas when we were younger (around when I was 5-10 and my brother was 9-14). Because she knew she wasnt greater than or less than anyone else. About 8/10 when my dad was checking out at the grocery store or best buy or somthing with a rewards card he would do the same dad joke (which I now find hilarious). Examples of Puns: Exploring What They Are and Different Types See you Tuesday!". What are the strongest days of the week? Why can't you run through a campground? Akvile is a list curator at Bored Panda. Bad Jokes That You Cant Help but Laugh At, Funny Photos That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud, Cheesy Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get a Laugh, The Absolute Best Funny Movies of All Time, Weird Facts You Never Knew About Laughter, Work Cartoons to Help You Get Through the Week, Clever Wedding Jokes Perfect for Any Speech, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. A. I guess we'll just have to make dew. It was tense. 5. My boss yelled at me the other day, Youve got to be the worst train driver in history. Theatre Jokes - Puns And One Liners Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. Don't be so kitty. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Take a page out of my book and leaf! exis ten tialism. Today in Advanced Microfabrication, we were talking about diffusion into silicon. Artie isn't the brightest bulb in the world, but he's always been there for Paul in the tough times. The maestro turned away from the orchestra as they told him the bad news; he couldn't face the music. Remember Phil? The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to One of my dad's go-to classics when I was growing up. 23. A panda walks into a cafe. A: You planet. Use acute angle. And the war was over. If you're looking for more giggles, take a look at over 100 funny puns and punny jokes. An example is the phrase 'come to dust' in a song from Shakespeare's Cymbeline: 'Golden lads and girls all must, / As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.'" I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. It gives them square roots. What did the. The first one is on the house.". 11. Gift Puns - Punpedia She yells out "Are there any numbers below 10?!" I don't know and don't really care. Check out the different types of puns, and enjoy additional pun examples to get you laughing! The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, Whats happening? A mall officer replied, These people are waiting to get A lizard walks into a bar pushing a baby in a stroller. Be the wittiest tweeter, texter, and writer wherever you go! With hand Santatizer 4. Ruddy firemen. My uncle always told me he had a fortune in a safe deposit box. -. 80 Of The Funniest Puns Ever | Bored Panda More From Thought Catalog. A. She then asked me what number I had taken, and I told her 10. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. Wife: "Come on little bug, and get some supper." Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Cat -atouille I think cats are man's best fur -riend.