Fyrebyrd2 Interesting! reader, Silent wing+, writes (10 February 2010): A Thats what IVF is for either the male or the female gives of their own gametes. Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. Steve Kellmeyer She barely knows her new boyfriend, yet she's already pregnant with the guy's baby and is forced to plan a future with him. You have a lot of personal issues to deal with, little boy. Steve Kellmeyer Sex makes babies and every time you have sex you run the risk of making a baby. He doesnt want to be with you. Well be together forever no matter what. is thrown around just to get in some dumb girls pants just as often as I wont get pregnant. is thrown around to trap ignorant dumbasses. In the vast majority of cases, these relationships do not last long and serve solely to be a . It's like she's a completely different person. When you have a child with someone you will have to deal with them FOREVER. I dont know. bittergaymark The point is that no one cares about your guesswork, sunshine. female I dont know how Im going to feel about this baby malarky. My Wife Had Fun With My Best Friend And Destroyed Our Son's Future April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. How about equal right for, you know, everyone? And those young boys and those young boys parents have wages garnished for the next 18 years to pay for the rapists child. BUT. Of course life is unfair. Only a valid argument of youre completely unaware of how babies are made and that birth control does not prevent pregnancy but only reduces the likelihood. Rarely, does a woman bring a man on the show to announce that hes pregnant and the responds with Id prefer you have an abortion.. . but he wants me and wants to marry me as he said all along Because it doesnt work that way around here and everyone knows it. You deserve more than you are getting but if you accept less you will get less! We judge what people wear (what on earth was she thinking?? If this happens, he STILL should not be welcomed back. Its unfortunate that he may potentially be a life-long relationship as parents with this woman, in addition to the legal responsibilities for the child, but any 40 year old man knows that is a potential risk. Move forward with your life. April 10, 2012, 10:34 am. After dating him for about 3 months, she got pregnant with his baby. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. People in healthy relationships say things like despite the circumstances that broke us up, we realized our relationship was worth working past those things by doing xyz Finally, the letter reads as a teenagers temper tantrum. . I don't know my place anymore because he doesn't want to tell her we're back together. The divide between the populations of men and women that make up people differs only by a couple of percent world wide, so unless your definition of the term people consists largely of men, that argument falls through. But if that rape victim gave birth to the child, dropped it on the rapists doorstep and left, its highly probable that the law would pursue her for child support. April 9, 2012, 1:23 pm. I was dating my ex girlfriend for 7 months before she broke up with me. You mean, he should decide whether or not he leaves a kid constantly yearning for attention theyll never get? Though some women seem to believe that is the case. we are making DW history, here, people!!! iseeshiny Would be nice if they could because there were many nights when I was pregnant where my husband could have had our babies lay on his bladder instead of mine. Its wrong and its not fair, and thats what should be changed, not the fact that a man who voluntarily engaged in activities that everyone knows could result in pregnancy can *gasp* be sued for child support for a kid he doesnt really want. You shouldnt expect him to bow down and praise the woman. So what? Maybe because she wants a tie to the LWs boyfriend. Ah, nothing like some good ol Internet fighting. She looked enough to bang, though, huh? theQuietOne Who actually uses cod wollop, malarky and scroat? female If you and a person you want to sleep with are not on the same page on what should happen in case of accidental pregnancy, dont have sex with them. So deal with that. April 10, 2012, 5:30 pm. How about, The woman who decided to keep the child knowing that the man was not interested in being a father and providing support?. Yet when it came to her most recent boyfriend, John . Eh, he knows where babies come from and there are plenty of ways to have an amazing sexual experience that absolutely cannot result in anyone getting pregnant. Read the comments. And as an adult who isnt ready to have children, either, I can empathize with his decision. We need to rebuild our trust, but I cant trust the situation because he cheated on me with her. I feel stupid once again and a part of me feels that he may come back to me again and I really dont want to be involved, but Im so weak and dont know how to let go. religiously wear condoms. April 9, 2012, 12:17 pm. Dream about boyfriend got another girl pregnant - Dreams`opedia There are so many variations on how the parents choices can conflict but no choice after the fact will make it even for both mother and father. As a child who was raised by my mother and saw neither hair nor hide of my biological father, who diligently paid child support, Ive turned out for the better. And MOA. At least with adopted children, they usually have one or two great parents who can explain, in a way that doesnt hurt them or damage their self-worth, why they were put up for adoption. As for the whole mans right to not be a parent to a child thing, I agree with _jsw_. My mother taught me better than that. Again, this was the perfect time to walk away, and end it with him. I dont think he is a bad person for telling a woman within the first trimester of a pregnancy that he barely knew and presumably made no false impressions to that he did not want a child and had no intention of being a part of that childs life. April 10, 2012, 7:35 pm. silver_dragon_girl This child will have no father and while I dont feel bad for the parents, I feel very bad for this child. 3 Things I Learned from Stopping All Communication After My Breakup Chuck Pelto And she doesnt have to be a liar to have been on antibiotics, thus rendering the pill largely ineffective. Furthermore, men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement, even though consensual sex involves both people equally. I agree with the magically thing. If youre going to have sex with someone you are not in a relationship with, be prepared that a *pregnancy* might happen. Is anyone else eagerly anticipating the update to this one? -Tried to pressure her into getting an abortion If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. I think its pretty unfair that women have the choice to abort or not, and the man gets no say in that, not really. I accept that its the law, just like its the law that you basically have to get raped by an ultrasound device in Texas in order to get an abortion. She didnt ask for any help with the other women so why would people be throwing out their opinions on that? Kind of sounds like it was written by an extremely immature middle aged woman. The idea that he owes his life to her now that hes fathered her child is precisely the reason so many people are in unhappy marriages and there is such a high number of marital affairs. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. And its also appalling that he would order a woman to abort. I honestly dont believe any of this will ever be an issue for you. Now? Because the bf in question was part of the creation of the child. We only have sex if were ready to be a father? ele4phant And is this letter for real? April 10, 2012, 11:41 am. But I dont see anything in the letter that means he must be. Which is funny, since weve been telling right wingers that all along. LW, take a step back and think about what you would tell one of your girlfriends in a similar situation. Sue Jones He told me he will obviously be paying for it but wants nothing to do with her OR the baby. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. SweetsAndBeats If you are so against men having to pay for a child they dont want that was nonetheless created by their penis couldnt you make this issue a hell of a lot easier by just telling your male friends to wrap it up? April 12, 2012, 2:47 am. I have tried to encourage him to stay with this woman soley because of this pregnancy How generous of you. ! Because he should have known she could have gotten pregnant! Women have complete reproductive autonomy, but as far as I know it is impossible to become impregnated without a man somewhere in the equation. I just dont see why thats ok but its not ok for the guy to essentially do the same thing but then have to pay. submandave Maybe she IS trying to entrap him. This is when we see rebound relationships. Thats nature, Tim. Answer (1 of 60): I would drop kick him out the door. Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. Ill weigh in on this If its a guy I dont know well enough regarding his sexual prowess, no way am I going down on him. Fortunately, its a well known fact that theres no 100% guarantee with birth control. If you cant handle the idea that this could happen, then wrap it up, or dont have casual sex. Furthermore, dont tell me what to do with my body and I wont tell you what to do with yours, little girl. The calculus is income dependent based on whos the higher earner. If she doesnt, DO NOT have sex with her. But it happened. Oh, really? And to the LW your boyfriend is not the victim in all of this. if she has a miscarriage because he's back with you, your fault. Thanks for the clarification. But I believe theres a definite difference. Im not saying it doesnt happen, but I find it hard to believe that people who dont take care dont get pregnant and every unwanted pregnancy is always the product of birth control failure. FireStar You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. He willingly engaged in sex (apparently without a condom) with a woman he knew for two minutes. LW, why in the hell would you want to get with this guy right now? I think she is just trying to trap my man, who is untrappable. Mistakes That Can Make a Breakup Worse and What to Do Instead - Insider I never grew up thinking there was something wrong with me because my biological father wasnt ready or willing to be a father to me. Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? Actually no. Adoption is a completely different matter. The timing was exactly right. We learned that in middle school. Briana DeJesus: PROOF Her Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant Revealed April 10, 2012, 9:46 pm. He knows how to make a baby, and he knows how to avoid making a baby. If its not easy, opt out of it. Hi guyssssss,I wanted to share a storytime video with you guys since it has a lot to do with the reason I moved to LA and a lot to do with who I am today!Sid. If it is his child, he owes the child at least something. He could have been one of those unforunate souls that DID protect himself, even with the womans added protection, and it still resulted in a child. How does your law make this fair? Not necessarily. In order to build trust, the person must be trustworthy. Again, he has not opted out of the childs life. bittergaymark he gets another girl pregnant while you are on a break, your fault. My biological father, whom Ive never met, responsibly paid child support and didnt confuse me by dropping in and out of my life. Imagine lending your new car to a friend who led you to believe they just needed to make a quick run to the Piggly Wiggly, only to have them return it to you totaled after having taken it on a weeklong bender in Vegas. Men this means condom. female I weep for the younger folks out there. Dear Bossip: We Broke Up And He Got Another Woman Pregnant I try t,o help because I remember when I was young. Honestly, I see unfairness in the current system too, but I dont see how you could look out for the best interests of children while simultaneously making everything 100% fair for both mother and father. I could hypothesize all day and comment on all kinds of things that might be happening but theres enough crap in this letter that it hardly seems necessary to make any up. Its like people that think women become foster parents for the money. His right to bang someone without protection could end badly and in this case it did. She asked what to do with this guy. Or until we decide to start a family., By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. in whether or not a child is a result here is what all you men should do at like age 18 or whatever. Coke bottle explodes taking off your arm = coke pays. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. Tim. I think what you are forgetting in all of this is that a child is not a peanut. If the woman is not required to support a child This attitude that men become slaves the instant a girl gets pregnant is actually very crazy, in my opinion. . February 1, 2014, 11:38 am. Hey, honey, I thought you had control over your bodies? My boyfriend and I split up for two months. Doesnt have to be romantically involved with this woman, but he wants nothing to do with the child that he helped to create, or the woman he cant stand. She didnt rape him. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. They can both make a choice but only Susie must physically implement the plan. He says he wants me, but Im afraid if she keeps trying to get back with him she will succeed one day. And I think the LW is just as much of an ass or whatever other word you want to insert as the bf in question. savannah Email usyour questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include Ask Dr. Sherry in the subject line.